Moustaches

Moustaches for me opitimise this calibre of people:
paedophiles, policemen, school teachers, umpires/referees, porn stars, accountants, red necks, serial killers.... you know what I mean.... real fuckin tossers that have something to hide.

Emo Punks

Emotional punk rockers can take their angsty adolescents and felch it. Fucking Good Charlotte, Sum 41 cock suckers. I'm going to sneak up to you all at the Big Day Out and cut your fringes off. Pull ya pants up loser and understand what real punk rock sounds like. Geeez us

Lyle Lovett

Lyle Lovett must have the most enormous penis in the world. It would have to be for him to snare an attractive (albeit annoying and whingey) woman such as Julia Roberts. I can only imagine that you would have to have a few wines before bedtime and an elongated paper bag on hand because their is no way a woman could reach an orgasm with lyles hunk of shit head panting and sweating furiously on top of her.

Collingwood Supporters - Fan Club

Ooohh... Break me off a piece of "General Dogsbody"... what a hunk o spunk. I shit you all not, this is a Collingwood Fan Club that resides in NSW. Can you imagine a function organised by "Steve", ooh i can hear "Cmon Ilene" coming out of the boombox from the back of the utemuster... There would be dick rimming of girls drinks when they put them down to dance... and a whole heap of nudie runs i am sure...... attended by such folk as "Jammo", "Simmo", "Robbo", "Scrote" and "Ferret". I am not even going to start on "Avon", or "Craig".... actually all of them are fucked.
They have just reaffirmed everything I have ever known about Collingwood Supports.... they are the ugliest dumbest cunts alive with absolutely no class AT ALL. Heads like robbers dogs.....
AMEN.
PS. (Steve looks like Gregish)

Ryan Maloney

One reason i knocked back a role as the new girl in Ramsey St was because i feared for my health and wellbeing. I mean imagine if i was cast as Toadfish Rebechi's girlfriend. I would be caught up in all manner of crazy situations dreamt up by the lame writers that would involve me and toady and nothing more than a wet towel. I would have to have rabbies shots every other day because their is no way that Ryan Maloney is a Homo Sapien, he is definately of the Rodent variety.
I dont know how his character hasnt been killed off yet so that he can launch his Panto career in London, or even launch a solo pop album. Either one would at least take his big ugly head off my screen right on dinner time.

Joey Gladstone

What a loser you are Joey..... you live in the basement of Danny's (bob Saget) house with his 4 precocious children. Your life as a struggling "comedian" went as far as that STUPID FARKING POPEYE IMPERSONATION (kill me now). Whilst Jesse was pulling all the women and finally landed Becky, what did you do? I know, you were downstairs fiddling with the Olsen twins... that's what you were doing (it would explain a lot). You're a washout Joey. Get a life and give it a rest with Popeye!...... loser.

Dame Edna

Dame Edna shits me up to my eyeballs. In fact any man that dresses like a woman shits me.
What really gets my goat is that the media accept that Edna is a real person and makes mention of this other fellow Barry Humphries as if he isnt the one who has created a mangina and donned excesive amounts of make up and cheap perfume to create the horrible, nightmarish Dame Edna

Fat Superheroes

Women who are morbidly obese should be banned from wearing Lycra. Especially
when they are going as Captain Feral to their grandmas 80th.

Clowns

Clowns are scary. How dare this random couple show up to their local swingers party and post this photo on the net to scare me even more. I feel sick and disturbed that these people are among us. Watch your backs people, The she-clowns jaws-esque fanny is coming to get you...

Denise Drysdale

You were once famous Ding Dong. I'm not sure what for. But you went the way of flouro leggings and giant scrunchies. Please stay lost and forgotten so that i never have to have my ear drums burst by your incessant screeching again.

Wayne Carey

Wayne, Wayne, Wayne...... when are you ever going to learn? You could have been the best AFL Player we had ever seen, but you went and fucked it up didn't you? It all started in 1996 when you groped that chicks bachoonga's at the pub and she took you to court. Then.... you decided to screw your oldest and dearest mate, Stevo's wife in the dunny's at Arch's house. Silly dickhead you are (never mess with Stevo, let alone Arch - toughest man in football). And your lovely wife Sal took you back....

So you left North and persued a "career" at Adelaide. What a fucking waste of time that was - how embarrassment. What is more embarrassing is that you shat yourself when you went to throw a punch at Arch in the Nth vs Crows game, and when he threw one back you thanked your lucky stars you were wearing brown undies and quivered like Bruce McAvaney in a room full of naked men. You're a soft cock Carey.

After thinking that you had learned your lesson, again, after the birth of your first child you were found to be cheating with a up and "coming" model. Silly Wayne. So now what have you got?

I know what you have got; You come from Wagga Wagga, your eyes are WAY too close together, you run like a duck needing to take a shit,..... and your name is Wayne. That's what you've got..
Oh Wayne... when will you ever learn?

The Seaford

Camel Toes and Man Toes

I shouldn't really be blogging the ole Camel Toe/Man Toe because they give me so much happiness and laughter, however we must really ask the question...... are their VJ's and ball sacks not attached to their bodies? because how the fuck would you not know you have god damn camel/man toe? HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????? Or are your genitals numbed from the ever-so contricting tight pants you have on? I JUST DONT GET IT!!!!! You would have to know? surely!!!

Ute Muster

FOR SALE
My old mans ute is tops. Its only been used around our joint and has minimal blood stains in the back from the wild pig we shot down old Toms way. (Not like bazzas stains but im not allowed to talk about that) If ya wanna come look just give me mate marty a call, he has mobile. I dont reckon youse'll find a more better ute on any of the farms round deniliquin way. Of course its got a V8. Would prefer to sell to a sheila coz we dont get many of them in these parts.

Toni Pearen

Put ya smelly snatch away Toni

The Cranberries

SalvationTo all those people doin' lines, Don't do it, don't do it. Inject your soul with liberty, It's free, it's free. To all the kids with heroin eyes, Don't do it, don't do it. Because it's not not what it seems, No no it's not not what it seems. Salvation, salvation, salvation is free. Salvation, salvation, salvation is free. Ah, ah, ah, ah To all the parents with sleepless nights, Sleepless nights. Tie your kids home to their beds, Clean their heads. To all the kids with heroin eyes, Don't do it, don't do it. Because it's not not what it seems, No no it's not not what it seems. Salvation, salvation, salvation is free. Salvation, salvation, salvation is free. Salvation, salvation, salvation is free. Salvation, salvation, salvation is free. Ah, ah, ah, ah

What a load of shit... Pass me the fucking needle.... so i can inject my eye balls with liquid G... then pass me the panadol cap so i can bum rush some LSD.......AH.... thank you Salvation from these fucks!

Tori Spelling

What the fuck happened to this bitch?
And i don't mean her career
or her personal life
I'm talking about the cavern that is her cleavage....
(thanks tate for that one)

Jessica Rowe

No wonder im in a bad mood every morning. I either have the choice of mel and kock or bloody jessica rowe. Jess and her skeletor head, her lesbian hair and one other thing where the fuck is her top lip?

The Veronica's

Did anyone see the interview with them on Rove? (and yes... i admit it.. i was watching the little ferret/pencil neck dwarf) Well if they spoke in unison one more time (and giggled on que) and did the "cutesy" twin/lesbian thing one more time, well there was going to be a massacre at channel 10 the size of The Newton Children's head's.
I am over the pair of you, you make me ill to the bone and your "rock" music and "rock" image is so not ROCK. You are talentless. You are ugly. You are from Brisbane. No further comment.

PS. What the fuck is that side pony in pic 2?

Catriona Rowntree

Everything about catriona shits me. even her name makes me grind my teeth. Her massive head and snobby voice is certainly the worst though. Every holiday destination that she visits is gratingly described in the most patronising voice that makes me want to blow up my tv. i hope she gets stabbed by a rhino horn in africa or gets eaten alive by piranha next time she travels down the amazon or even punched in the tit by a giant red male kangaroo in the aussie outback.

Lisa Curry Hyphen Kenny

Riddle me this.... they employ a man to promote Fernwood Female only gyms? I just don't get it. We all know you have an undertuck Lisa... get off the roids.

Pete Doherty

What a malnourished. shambled and horrendous person pete is. How he managed to snag kate moss is a total mystery. He is the epitome of why drugs are bad mmmkay

Red Heads

Fire Crotch, Fanta pants, Sauce head, ranga. Whatever people call you it makes no difference. You should shave your head and hide your shame.

Wheel Of Misfortune

Adriana, did you fall from heaven, because i think you landed on your face.
Have fun in the slammer....
(thanks steve for that contribution)

The Newton Kids

It hurts me to drag My Bert into this, but his children need serious attention. I wonder if there is a plastic surgeon with enough skill to shrink the newtons head size. i feel sorry for patti. her box must be a cavern after pushing those two into the world.

Stephanie McIntosh

Kill me now.....
And if i didn't hate her enough... she is Jason Donovan's half sister.
Pass me the fucking gun now I said!

Kerry-Ann Kennerley

Well, if i'd even seen a case of mutton dressed up as lamb........KAK alright!

Daryl Somers

Daryl Somers - Songlines. Here's a songline - SOLD NOTHING. I don't know what is more wrong? That leather jacket, the "orchestra" in the background, the fact you are pretending to read sheet music, or that fucking smug grin on that huge head of yours (see pics 1 and 2).

Oh Daryl, we thought you would have learned your lesson after the pityful demise of Hey Hey, but no, up you popped again like your poof mate Ozzy Ostrich out of the sand... so we can all be put through the tortuous motions of your singing and dancing abilities.... guess what Daryl... you cant sing.. you cant dance.. and you cannot play the fucking drums.

Ricky May would be rolling around in his grave if knew what you were up to......

PS. I know your real name is Daryl Schultz! IMPOSTER

Scott "Pea Heart" Lucas

Why dont you just stand there Lucas and get your team mates to kick the ball to you. Then you can kick goals and take all the glory without having to do anything. You really are shit house...